Welcome Back Catfish Impressions.
I got nothing. Nothing is new at all, or at least intriguing. The only thing that intrigued me was that Randy has an attraction for Heidi; there are two reasons why this made my day. And that story Randy and Howard were talking about was disturbing as all living heck. I felt dirty.
There’s a way to fix it: I’ve seen a guy named Animated James do it well.
It’s was My Little Pony: FiM thing. It was about what it’ll be like if some guy was on that show. James made it seem like he was going to do one thing when really it was another and the ponies’ reactions were priceless.
I think to make this joke work you have to catch the audience off guard or they will react the same way the characters hearing are reacting. That’s why I found it disturbing, I expected it to be extremely grotesque, and Howard’s gestures and Randy’s reactions made it sound horrible.
Potential verdict: Below Average D (Yes, because of the gross out story); 2/5 or 4
All the Juice that’s Fish to Swim Impressions
Oh god, please don’t go towards the family guy route. If don’t know already what Family Guy is doing, it is having the most shocking and disturbed scenes for a desperate laugh. Anyway, I got nothing… again. The ending is more random than thought provoking… (We’ve never seen Debbie so concerned about the ninja)
How many more episodes will give me absolutely nothing to say or talk about? I generally don’t find the episodes bad or good but I have nothing. There’s literally nothing. Nothing new happened.
BTW…that snippet was for the most pathetic joke in the series. There train, we didn’t a see a train or heard a train. How about this:
“Cut the train joke out”
Am I alone on this?
Potential verdict: Average C-; 3/5 or 6
Julian’s Birthday Surprise Impressions
“Hey, I have an Idea; let’s take a loaded and all powerful weapon to a person who’s probably a psychopath’s birthday party. What could possibly go wrong?” You can never make that justified and you also can’t keep saying that it’s a bad idea when the episode allowed it to happen in the first place. That’s pretentious!
Guys, a contrivance is still a contrivance, you can’t make seem like one thing when it’s really the other.
Ex: Randy bringing the sorcerer’s pearl to a possible psychopath’s way
Now to the major, I see that they’re trying to do better but they aren’t getting any better. At best the episodes are boring; at the worst the episode is pretentious, confused, or wasted potential.
You know how I said that Howard is the biggest wasted of human ever spawned.
No? Well now you know! Well, that’s not the problem expect in On the Pool Front. Howard looks like he’s getting a little bit better, but now Randy is about to be just as bad. (Just because you erase Howard’s jerky behavior doesn’t mean he gets my graces he still a F.R.O character)
Speaking of wasted potential, the back story of the sorcerer is rushed. Your main villain of the entire series’ backstory was rushed a skimmed over. It may sound nitpicky, but If your main character has a backstory don’t you think I should be a subplot instead of this tossed out potential you call a Nomicon Lesson. Because he’s the main the villain we need a bit more clarification on the backstory instead of just something like “Quick make up a story about the Sorcerer’s origin that can be told in 10 seconds or less.”
You don’t have to make it emotional and heartwarming but at least tell us in more than 10 seconds
Potential Verdict: Below average D; 2/5 or 4
True Bromance Impressions
This episode is telling me one thing or another.
One this is a decent episode.
Or two this is an extremely mediocre one.
Decent: Randy actually learned something on friendship.
Mediocre: The episode felt like it was on fast forward. They were good at the fast paced story telling at the beginning of the series but now it’s getting rushed like the other episode I was talking about. And they made way to many jokes for this to be taken seriously; actually they made jokes about the things they took seriously, which you should never do.
This episode is hypocritical, but I like to grade things on their own merits.
Potential verdict: Extremely mediocre C-; 3/5 or 6
Unstank my Hart Impressions
Once again I’ve got nothing to say expect for “An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind” They may have kicked you out of there band, (Which makes me wonder why they got him the first place if they thought he was bad) but doing the same to them will not fix anything. How do you become a huge celebrity in only three months of time… never mind?
And they also offended the British because that’s not British English and that’s not a British accent. And that shaky cam thing is annoying and obnoxious. Randy just tell him the truth not everything should have a happily ever after.
Potential Verdict: Below Average D-; 2/5 or 4
Whoopee 2: the rise of Whoopee 2 Impressions
It’s an animatronic kangaroo, how stupid (and creepy) could you possibly get?! This thing is for little children; why are the teenagers and adults getting so hyped up for this thing.
Howard, you’re back on my list (Actually you never left in the first place), you caused the problem.
Other than that I’ve got nothing to say…again! This is how you say formulaic, that’s why I have nothing. These episodes are practically written the same way.
Potential Verdict: Failure F; 1/5 or 2
M-M-M-my Bologna Impressions
This sucks too. Guys you’ll need more evidence than “he can put a diaper” on for anyone to be qualified to take care of something, and he ends up chopping it up and eating it, so now the lesson is botched up. And this is where I say “Never make fun of the things you’re taking seriously.” Reason why is because you’ll botch up what you’re trying to go for.
Howard is a good caretaker, but he chops up and eats the “Baby” Making me believe as long as his child is not food he won’t eat it. (Wow, the more I think about it the disturbing the episode is) That definitely proves that Howard is a good father.
You guys are already not very good comedians, what makes you think you can do black comedy.
Speaking of black comedy, there was line that had to do with Mrs. Driscoll want the teens to practice with real babies (Has anyone seen the “Odd life of Timothy Green”, go watch the Nostalgia Critic review of it to see why this is a horrible idea for both teens and adults), but it was a bad idea and she doesn’t know why. Umm… why was that joke there? I don’t want to jump the gun on anything but it sounded like they made a joke about teenage pregnancies. I’m not saying that they did but that’s what it sounded like to me.
Remember you suck at black comedy having jokes like that, is not okay. But since it may not be intentional or be taken that kind of way, I’m not going to count that against you.
Final Verdict: Below average D- (If they were making fun of teen pregnancies, they get an F) 2/5 or 4
Everybody Ninj-along Impressions
The song is stupid moving on. (Too stupidly catchy, can’t talk about it.) But Randy hates it and Howard tells him to tell Bucky the truth until he got a gig from him. Yeah, Howard is a waste of thought figuratively and literally. This could be a nice episode about telling the truth to the people who need it. Like Randy needed to tell the truth to Bucky for Bucky to stop. Actually I don’t know why he kept singing it and why everyone else loved since the episode said that being on the band wagon is bad and agreeing with other people when you actually don’t like it is bad.
This whole episode is hypocritical. Oh and if you hurt someone’s feelwings by telling how you really feel about their stuff, you’re the bad guy. Guess what I don’t care. This could be a metaphor for how these people take criticism.
Agreeing Allan; is that some joke? That’s the worst joke I’ve ever heard.
Potential Verdict: Fail – F; 1/5 or 2
Fudge Factory Impressions
Hey, writers I know the ending (No, the one before it, about lying) is a joke, but you’re going to have to be more obscured with the punchline or make extremely surreal and nonsensical, Like “If you tell the truth, people won’t think you’re a cannibal.” That was wildly obscured to be taken seriously. Now to the episode:
Here’s something, I’ve learn: Howard is an idiot. If you knew he was lying, why did you fall for it?
Anyway, why can’t our main character just do things that don’t involve people getting into serious danger? What kind of ninja would do that? Oh wait no that would never happen because that was contrived to have the ninja be in every episode.
Am I the only one who thinks that maybe they should show a slice of life story with Randy and Howard? They can do that; it won’t be out of place because it has done with our main stars. It’s an idea.
Anyway, this contrived bring on the verdict.
I love me some Ruth though.
Potential verdict: 0 or Fail – F; 1/5 or 2
Best Buds Impressions
Hey, hey you guys, if you want me to believe that these two are good friends, you’ll have to take friendship lessons seriously. For all I know it could be fake, which I believe it is.
This could have been decent if weren’t for the jokes and the ending. No, I didn’t mention the jokes because they were as clumsy and forced as these ones. They were painfully unfunny. Like that joke with the roman numerals, pure stupidity is not funny. It’s like telling a joke that goes:
Hey did you know that Roman Numerals look like letters!?
That joke was hammered into the ground years ago.
Squid, squid...I’m sorry, squid? Why would you put a squid I you a “supposedly” harmless invention. Why do scientists put in hardcore settings on inventions that’ll be used on humans?
Anyway, the jokes and the ending really hurt the quality.
Potential verdict: Fail – F; 1/5 or 2
Welcome Back Catfish: 4
All the juice that’s fish to swim: 6
Julian’s birthday surprise: 4
True Bromance: 6
Unstank my hart: 4
Whoopee 2: The rise of Whoopee 2: 2
My Bologna: 4
Everybody Ninj-along: 2
Fudge Factory: 0
Best Buds: 2
Average scoring (so far): 3.4/10
Total scoring: 34/80 or 42.5% ( F )
Stay tuned for the follow up blog tomorrow afternoon.